God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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