At least make sure they are 18
Why
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
