is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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