So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize