I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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