She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
