I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
