Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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