Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize