Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I've blown a few things in my day
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you never un-have a 4some
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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