yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
