i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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