Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
