and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
