You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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