Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
time to smoke my breakfast
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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