so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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