I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
