And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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