Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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