me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Please don't give away my fajitas
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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