his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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