i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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