glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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