We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize