Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
