Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize