Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
