the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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