i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
