If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
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