Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize