also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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