it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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