Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
