my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize