My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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