xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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