I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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