i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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