I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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