so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize