I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Pooping to opera.
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