just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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