im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
