All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
