you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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