i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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