Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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