Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
