...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
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PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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