Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
