We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
