so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
