Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
