Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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