dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
