im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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