last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
