so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
